Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
