yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
