Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
