Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
