Christians are straight up FREAKS
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
