hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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