we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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