Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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