no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
