Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
