ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
