Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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