what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
