After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
