Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am mentally ready for anal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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