Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
