Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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