I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
