We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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