It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
