sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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