I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
