my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
