You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
