No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
