Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just blew my weed a kiss
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
