Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
