the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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