whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
