ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
