I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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