so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
