Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
