I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
