you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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