and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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