you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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