thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
