She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
