Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
