girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She needs sedatives and a leash
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
