i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
