yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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