Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
