and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
