I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
