you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
