Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
