if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
