I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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