she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
