My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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