I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
