Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
