Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
