that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
