Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
